Staff outing to Glastonbury

As ever I’m being an actually factually generous, love-able, gregarious and supercilious boss.

Next weekend, whilst I’m nob-hobbing with the creamy crop of the model-making world at W.O.R.D.S.C.A.M.P., I’ve arranged for the staffage at Derek Belm & Sons to enjoy a few days away bonding and stuff.

I’ve had word from Jason Zill, one of our local coach tour operators, that everything is booked and the tickets are purloined.

So the staffage from Derek Belm & Sons will be spending their weekend at the actual factual Glastonbury musicians event down in hillbilly country as guests of J-Z’s World of Travel and Cobblers’ Supplies.

It is their own choice of venue. As you well know my deep loathing of music stretches down as far as the eye can see.

Jason is new to this sort of event himself, but he assures myself that my staffage will be well looked after and treated to a bonding weekend the like has never been actually factually witnssed before at Derek Belm & Sons.

He will be picking everyone up from my studio-cum-workshop on Thursday afternoon in his charabanc, which will also double up as their night-time accommodisation. Jason lavishes such care and attention on his big bus - here he is, earlier, polishing the front end with his backside:

Everyone at Derek Belm & Sons is justifiably and hysterically proud and excited about attendising this Glastonbury shindig.

However, my apprentice, Sammy-Lou Westwinds, is less than happy with my choice of travel operator.

She reckons J-Z is more attuned to the pensioners’ mystery tours to the red light sleaze pits of Amsterdam and Hamburg than a prestigious musichall event like Glastonbury. She thinks J-Z will stick out like a sore thumbnail that has been hit by an errant hammer and so, by association, will the staffage off of Derek Belm & Sons.

I’ve told Sammy-Lou she should be more broad-shouldered and open-mindful about J-Z’s appearance at Glastonbury, give the poor chap a chance to prove he got more to offer than pimping for pensioners.

Anyway, I’m actually factually ace and everything for organising such a spesh staff outage.

Now all I have to do is collect £395 from all members of my staffage to cover my expenses.