My current starring role as Acting Editor of The Shouty Villager is to be upgraded.
I’m going to become full-on actual factual Editor-in-Chief of this august title and its floundering blogs.
The offer was made and accepted after current head hunchback Cyril Foulds-Stretching IV announced that he and his wife would never be returning from the round-the-world cruise they are taking to celebrate their 58th wedding anniversary.
It transpires Cyril and his wife (Mrs Foulds-Stretching IV) have become big chums with Jocelyn Blackbeard, a descendent of the legendary bandit of the oceans, whilst on the South Seas leg of their cruise. The three of them have decided to jump cruise ship and become actual factual pirates, using Jocelyn’s illustrious ancestor as their inspirationaliser.
I have bigger plans for The Shouty Villager than even I can imagine at the moment.
I will be maintaining my role as big cheesy type at Derek Belm & Sons, although my chief model-maker Alfred “Curly” Nemesis will be taking on more of the day-to-day admin stuff and everything.
So that’s nice, then.
[...] reasons for my upgradation are obvious and pirate-related, but I plan to actually factually revolutionise the way The Shouty Villager [...]