I have new car.
The Austin Allegro Equipe proved too much of a babe magnet and incurred the considerable and voluptuous wrath of my wife (Mrs Belm).
My new wheels is a Hillman Avenger, a far more solid and pensionable vehicle which Mrs Belm (my wife) says “wouldn’t attract a blind trollop, so its safe for you to use”.
It looks quite racy to me and I find the interior a little garish.
So I’m thinking of asking friend, blogger and artist Henrietta Scuttlers to redesign it in more muted tones.
My driver Klippings had threatened to move on if I got rid of the Allegro.
Such a great wheelman is difficult to come by so I’ve been working very hard to appease his stroppiness.
As a compensation, I’ve bought him and his life partner Tough Timmy their own little race car.
It needs an awful lot of work doing on it, but it will give them something else to do in their large shed-cum-garage. Here they were, yesterday, wondering why I’ve bought them it:
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